Saturday, December 20, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Let us fly through the gilded sky
And watch the sun slip beneath
To spray its warmth on other worlds
Beyond our own horizon
Watch the trees wave goodbye
And pass the blessing of light
To the world that lies around the corner
Of dearest Mother Earth
Sparkling drops within the dark
Replace shimmering ribbons of heat
Say goodnight to golden sun
And welcome blessed moon
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
There comes a day when you wake up, turn around and are unable to recognize yourself in a mirror. Your values, opinions, lifestyle, goals, everything, has changed. The things that used to be important and worry you have vanished and worked themselves out. You’ve somehow managed to figure out the lessons from your mistakes in the past. Life isn’t perfect, but you’re coming up to the horizon. The world looks totally different from the top of the mountain at sunrise.
If I were to walk through the halls of my high school, I’d feel so odd. I am still the same person, but my life is nowhere near what it was when I trampled the brownstone tile floor daily. I have become a part of a completely different world. I would feel two faced, like I was hiding something. Not because I’m ashamed, but because I’ve been skyrocketed from the conservative Bible belt mentality and the normal American lifestyle. An entire part of my life they have no clue about, and would utterly shock them if they knew.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
1. I have drank almost an entire bottle of white grape juice within the past 24 hours.
2. I have never felt more empassioned or in the zone than I do when I have a flag in my hand and music surrounding me.
3. I never cease to tie closer bonds with people than they tie with me.
4. I have accepted the fact that I have a slightly delusional and idealistic view of the world.
5. The things I say and what I truly think and feel rarely cooperate to bring a good outcome.
6. I talk about myself a lot. And it bugs me.
7. Everything has beauty. Even ugly things.
8. Snow is the greatest thing in the world. Just don't drive in it.
9. There is a song and a soul for every soul.
10. I am terrified of losing people, and it effects my daily decisions.
11. When asked to do a favor that involves commitment, my first instinct is to find an excuse. Then I realize that I'm stupid and both parties benefit from the favor.
12. Money really is the root of all evil.
13. An hour unplanned that maps itself out has greater potential to be amazing than a day completely mapped out in advance.
14. Following others isn't always copycatting. Sometimes it's simply making a good decision.
15. Sex is overrated.
16. Sometimes the best things are left unsaid and that's how it's meant to be because they never would have come out right.
17. Unrequited love is still love, and that should never hold a negative connotation or create negative energy because to be loved by another is the greatest form of flattery.
18. Running away from problems only makes you lose your breath, and then the problem catches up and smacks you when your even weaker.
19. The meaning of life is simple: happiness. If you spend your life without it, you might as well already be dead.
20. A picture's worth a thousand words. But it's never specified whether they're truthful words or a perversion of the truth.
21. I overuse analogies.
22. Any invention that results in something flying through the air is the product of brilliance.
23. The children of playground architects must have the greatest backyards ever.
24. You are never too old to have fun on a playground.
25. You are never too old, even if your body screams "I'M DETERIORATING". You always have youth at heart and spirit.
26. There's no sense in verbally defending a philosophy that's better proven by living it out.
27. The things we put our heart and soul into are the things that carry our spirit beyond our departure from the material world.
28. Music is the only constant form of communication. It evolves, but its theories have been the same for centuries.
29. A smile is the universal greeting that can brighten any person's day.
30. Sometimes it takes three car wrecks for a person to admit they're a bad driver. And even then... delusional pride keeps that person from changing their ways.
31. The religious wars the worlds still wages are the repercussions of an impatiant man who had an affair with his housekeeper thousands of years ago because his wife couldn't have kids.
32. I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. It often gives the vibe that I'm bitter or pissed about something that frankly doesn't bother me at all.
33. I spent four years in high school breaking the insecurities private school had tied me down with.
34. Singing in the shower is a great way to begin or end a day.
35. So is skinny dipping.
36. A social life who's roots are in a windowless room filled with cubicles attached to a dirty floor has the same opportunity for greatness as any other social life.
37. The greatest essays and newspaper stories are those begun at 2am of the day they're due.
38. Fear is the only source of danger.
39. The glass a drink is served in has a severe impact in the way it tastes.
30. You've got to be really freaking talented to get a splinter from a popsicle stick.
31. The things that are only funny to those doing them aren't given enough credit by those observing.
32. You can never truly know a person until you've seen them around their best friend in the world.
33. To be a true close friend, you have to be a constant part of that person's life, sharing in the ups, downs, and everything in between.
34. Chocolate milk is always a good decision. Unless your throat is suffering from allergies.
35. You can tell a lot about a person by the cereal they eat.
36. There are two types of people: those who only eat the marshmallows in Lucky Charms, an those who hate the marshmallows and don't eat the cereal at all because of it.
37. If it won't bother you in a week, it's not worth worrying about today.
38. Lean back, relax, look at your brain.
39. Road trips with awesome people down country roads, Bob Dylan, and the windows rolled down is the greatest experience the world can offer.
40. Elementary school children should not know about sex, profanity or drugs. Their innocence is too precious.
41. Little things build up like flecks of dust. If you don't clean it off every now and then, it builds up so much that it's hard to tell what used to be beneath it and makes everyone sick.
42. The Oklahoma border is exactly one hour from my house.
43. Sophia's magic number. :]
44. April has yet to prove itself as a month with positive outcomes.
45. The domino effect bring sweet revenge.
46. Family is the greatest thing you can ever have. Being reunited with family is even greater.
47. It takes two people naturally cooperating with each other for a friendship to form. One person doing all the work is a delusional friendship.
48. An unreturned phone call is a great disappointment.
49. The alarm clock never brings good news.
50. Holidays celebrated by blasting fire into the air are better than any media-poisoned religious holiday.
51. I'm going to bed.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Friday, February 29, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
I would name you Maybe so you’d never speak a word of uncertainty. You wouldn’t want to say, “Well, maybe I can…” because it’d sound weird to say your name in the middle of a sentence. You wouldn’t be flaky or indecisive, my own tragic flaws. The word ‘maybe’ instigates possibility. It’s the transition into a new idea. “Maybe this happened.” Or “maybe this would work”. And it’s the answer people give when they don’t want to say ‘no’. I would give you the ability to say ‘no’, never ‘maybe’, to never be afraid of what people would think of you if you turned them down and chose your own way, never leave people hanging or unsure, but always be there, always be committed to the things that you want to do. I would name you this, not to set you up to be made fun of, but to give you a piece of character and set you a part from the rest of the world.
I would name you my Pax, after the Roman goddess of peace. I know that worldwide peace is unlikely and unrealistic, but each day, we can do small things to bring peace to those around us, to make other people’s lives better. I would give you my motto: Be the change you want to see in the world. With your name, you would receive the character of a peacemaker, known in modern times as a hippie, the character of a purely happy, content and peaceful person. Pax tectum, et bonum et lux. Peace be with you, and goodness and light.
Love always J
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
It began just as I was walking out of my dorm to go to class. There’s a building next door that is in the process of being gutted and torn down. The windows are all gone and random chunks of metal, concrete, and other debris piled all over the fenced in construction area. A wrecking ball suspends from a thick cable attached to a giant crane. Somehow, the destruction strikes me as beautiful. In a few months time, a brand new building will stand in its place, but the pure, perfect new building cannot hold to the old building whose guts and inner soul are wretched from inside. Its heart is on the ground. Beauty.
Across from the building, there is a white stone bench, its blank backside facing the sidewalk. On Valentine’s Day, a beautiful four-line love poem filled the backside of the bench. Today, two maintenance workers sat in the bench, one leg crossed over the other and their arms folded behind their necks. A plastic tub of white paint and a paint roller in a small tin tray sat against one of the corners of the bench. The love poem was gone. But still, the scene was beautiful.
The entire day was like this. At every given moment, I found something beautiful in the situation. On a delivery, I held the door open for a man wheeling several boxes outside to his delivery truck. I didn’t get a tip from the lady I delivered to, but it was okay. I got a “tip” in another way—by making someone else’s day a little bit easier.
I also took a delivery to a woman who worked in a small counseling center out of a refurbished house. She was blind. She held a job, could operate a phone, read a credit card number (or at least have it memorized), sign her name, all without being able to see and visualize anything, and she looked pretty to top it off. She didn’t let a handicap hinder her from living life to the fullest. She inspired me. Sometimes, I try to find excuses as to why I can or couldn’t do something, but here is this woman who could so easily use the lack of sight to have life handed to her, but instead she challenges herself to overcome it. Beauty.
I drove with my windows down and pleasant music playing.
I slowed down so people could get over a lane our pull out of a parking spot.
I talked with a stranger on the way to class, I don’t even remember what about, but it began by my holding the door open for her.
Small flaws did not bother me—when a lady at a stop sign went ahead of me though I had the right of way, or when I could’ve sworn I’d made more tips than I went home with. My boss snapped at me for something, I winced, but was long forgotten by the time I was back in my car on my way to another delivery. All these little things, my little attempts to find something positive and beautiful in everything I encountered—all made my day, in itself, beautiful.
If I could choose my own heaven, the place and things my soul would do after departing my body, I would become a little fairy who puts dollar bills in people’s pockets or moves their keys to an obvious place where they can easily be found. Sort of like a fairy godmother, I suppose. I would make each day like today—full of beauty and creating happiness.
Days like these are the epitome of my soul’s existence. Today was the state of mind, the peaceful easy feeling, that I aim to achieve every day. For everyone I interacted with today, you are loved and you are beautiful :D
Sunday, February 10, 2008
You are my "What if...? ", but what I wanted back then doesn't matter anymore.
This game is up, what goes on from here is up to you.
And if you talk to me, I'll talk back. But please, for my sake, let's be friends.
Now go find a girl who cares for you as much as I did and love her in return. I'll be happy for you.
Monday, January 21, 2008
She was terrified of feeling that way about another person. There had been enough hard falls within the past year, and she felt no rush to add another name. Her friends wanted her to be happy. To be ready. She wanted life to happen on her own time. On her own terms. She wouldn’t mind another friend, and at the moment, that’s really all she was ready for. A boyfriend, that’d be nice. But frightening. To say she wasn’t ready would bring on the question, “would she ever be?”. It would take time. Trust and comfortability don’t rebuild overnight. She didn’t want to rule out all possibilities, but she just wasn’t ready. She could not be pushed. She could not be rushed. She didn’t even like to be told. She liked surprises. She didn’t like it when people made things obvious or a big deal. She was used to her life being unconventional and subliminal. She meant to touch other’s lives without them realizing it. She had never been a big deal. She’d always been the third wheel. The less-important, just below exceptional. Good enough to get by, not good enough to get recognized. She didn’t want that to change as much as she sometimes thought. She wanted to have a best friend, fall for him, marry him, have kids, etc. She’d fallen hard enough twice, right in a row. She could be patient, surely one of them was the One. Her closeness and feelings weaved in and out constantly and inconsistently, but she figured at some point one of them would realize she was their girl and everything would just happen.
And even if it didn't... someone else like that would come along. It would be completely natural. No one would push her. They'd be good friends one day, mistakingly kiss, and then it'd all change. That was her reality. In her little world, that's the way things rolled.