Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Red light Green light

Two weeks I've been in one place, not carrying my home in the back of a car or counting on open hearts for a square of couch for a night's rest. What phases me more than staying put a while is returning to see that life continued while I was away, and things and places changed. The old house I lived in before has fresh coats of paint over the crazy, colorful murals that roommates and friends painted last year. The little Toto-dog who danced and sprung with exuberant joy and raced in figure-8s through the yard rests in a hole in the back corner marked by three simple rocks and a wreath of dried carnations. And while I used to live in a house on a one-way main street with people coming and going and sleeping on the couch or in our beds, home is now a small house on a neighborhood street behind the high school football stadium, and three roommates who keep to their rooms mostly since there's no communal living room. I must say, it's nice to be home- to have a home- but I do miss living by an atlas instead of a calendar, the sun instead of a clock, and a forest instead of a bathroom.

Midnight facebook stumbling last night, I found a friend's blog and read through posts that weaved every day experiences into words of wisdom that I took to heart in a way. She told the story of sitting at a traffic light behind two cars. One had a green turning arrow, but the other still a red light, however, impatient, inattentive, and eager, the second car proceeded with the green arrow and narrowly missed an oncoming car. Right now, we're both sitting at red lights in life and we see other people with green arrows, moving forward. There's a frequent conversation I have with myself, one side becoming impatient and "waiting" for passion and adventure to land in my lap and envious of others who have found their's, the other side showing the first where adventure lies within every day life and the passion that does seep through every now and then. I've kept a journal all summer, for the past 72 days, documenting each day's adventures, and there's not been a dull day so far. Even days spent in front of a book or the TV (only two!) are an adventure by comparison to each other.

So, the point is, every day is what you make of it. It's all in your perspective. Life keeps going, whether you're in one place or the other, whether you're paused at a red light or passing through a green light. Do with it what you will, this is what you have to work with, this is the life you have to live with.

No comments: