Children. The epitome of innocence, a representation of the stage of life that is to be most protected, valued, and reflected upon fondly. Someday, I'm sure my mind will return to its original ecstatic anticipation for my own chance at motherhood, but at this stage of my life, the saturation of my summer days with the presence and responsibility of near-constant childcare is simply wearing me out. They are trying my patience. I need a vacation from my mother and from children. I need to be reminded that I am indeed 19, in college, and closing in on ultimate independance. 

I miss my brother. We have this... understanding of each other that nobody else in the world could have of either of us. It's like we know eachother's souls, inside and out. This past year has been hardest in that aspect. I miss driving my brother to and from school every day and telling him everything that's happening, having deep philosophical conversations, and throwing limes at each other. If I had to choose, and it wouldn't break my dad's heart, I wish that my brother could give me away at my hypothetical wedding. By every right and nature, he should. Silly traditions. 

Every year at this time, I go through a self-doubt phase during which I lose my satisfaction with journalism. One year, I really felt called to something with kids instead of working for a newspaper or magazine. Last year, I thought about going back to nursing. Now, I'm just not sure if I want to slave my life away to writing or designing, or doing anything that required documenting lives as opposed to experiencing them. I have developed a keen interest and fascination with children and people that live completely normal lives despite handicaps, Down's Syndrome, Autism, and so forth. I don't want to be a teacher... or a doctor... or psychology related anything, but I felt a tug towards these people. I really want to be a camp counselor. I'd just have to find some sort of regular escape to remind myself of my adulthood. But I really want to. The woods... the whole camp experience... and the fact that I'd be influencing a kid's summer, childhood, and memories. 

I've recently discovered the magic of film cameras. So far, I've had two rolls. I lost my printer cables, though, so I cannot scan my photos until I take the time to dig around. 

I hope everyone is having the most fantastic summer, full of memorable excitement :]

Three Jordans and a Starbucks

I woke up this morning with a long list of errands that I needed to get done before my mother and I leave for the airport at 2 and an irritating caffeine headache. I sidetracked through Starbucks between my stops at the ink store and Half Price with the hopes of curbing the grinding between my ears and ordered a tall- no, grande- caramel frapp, an old classic. When asked my name, I routinely uttered "Jordan", a step outside of my usual routine of making up something absolutely ridiculous. 

The pleasant barista chuckled a little. "Really? haha. your drink will be ready at the bar in just a moment." 

The girl in line behind me, a few inches shy of 5 ft tall, wearing an All-American Cheerleader shirt, sophee shorts and red cons, steppe up and ordered a tall caramel frapp. At her response to the first name question, she also uttered "Jordan", which sent the barista behind the counter and her co-worker sitting in the plush chair adjacent to the counter to burst out laughing. In my glance in their direction, my eyes caught on the name scrawled in blue chalk beneath "Your barista today is..." and noticed that her name was also Jordan. 

Barista Jordan turned to the barista behind the counter, "I have never been in the same place as three Jordans before. I think it's a sign. You should name your baby Jordan, whether it's a boy or a girl."

While customer Jordan and I were awaiting our caramel frapps, we wandered through discussions of our common interaction with more boy Jordans than girl Jordans, and how we'd both been referred to by our full names throughout school  because of it. It was possibly the coolest interaction I'd ever had at Starbucks and it made me appreciate my name and my newfound caffeine addiction so much more.

La Vida Summer

Our lives as students exist in revolution around the summer months. It's our four month break from cramming knowledge into our heads and stressing out over grades and instead fill our minds with things we want to learn about and earn a little cash to live off during the next school year. We are free to wander into creeks and watch dragonflies hover over pondwater and fish tickle the algae-covered rocks. We can embark on weekend roadtrips or watch the sun rise over the tops of trees and not have to worry about a paper due in a week or an exam the next day. Summer is magic. Anything can happen, and anything will happen. It's only been a month so far, and already, I'm having the best summer of my life. 

A few weeks ago, my friends and I observed that our hometown is no longer as boring as it had been in high school. We decided that since going off to college, we'd found ways to make any place fun. Watching the sun set in a park or wandering off in a creek, laying in a field staring at the clouds or just sitting around the backyard passing around a guitar has become a constant way of amusing ourselves. It's not the place you're in, it's the people. If you find a group of people that enjoy the same things you do, you can make any place fun.